Extreme weather alert?

My name is Bill Ballard. I’m a weatherman. I work for the television as a matter of fact. Maybe you’ve seen me. I do the late forecast.

Anyway, last night something strange happened. I gave the weather as usual : Plenty of sunshine today, I said, but extreme weather alert of snow for tomorrow. I gave all the details of temperatures, expected snowfall, possible disruptions and so on. I advised everyone to keep safe and to stay warm and said goodnight.

Forecast done, I was already thinking about getting home before the snow. But then people started coming into the studio. They didn’t normally do that. Some applauded, some laughed. But others were very unhappy.

Snow now, Bill? In the middle of summer? That’s impossible, they said.

Well, I answered, that’s the forecast. We’ll just have to see, won’t we?

And during the night, it did get colder and colder. The sky clouded over, and soon there was not a star to be seen. Then a freezing wind came in, and snow began to fall. Slowly at first, then thicker. And it snowed all night.

In the morning, people woke up and opened their curtains expecting to see the summer sun. But what did they see? Snowflakes falling gently from the sky. Then it stopped. And there it was : snow everywhere.

A few just smiled, posted videos on social networks and tried to carry on as normal. But nobody could go out. There was too much snow. Roads were blocked and transport wasn’t working.  What else to do but sit there in silence looking out at the white world?

There were reports of snow all over the country. Blockages, stoppages. Snow in the middle of summer for the first time on record. Children loved it, of course. They couldn’t just sit inside and look at it, and they went out to play. Soon adults joined them.

Families on holiday at the seaside built snowcastles on the beach. They waited for the waves to come and wash over everything they’d built. But the waves were frozen like everything else. They looked around for an ice-cream shop but there was no ice-cream in sight, only ice. Ice and snow, that is.

It got dark early for some reason. Nobody seemed surprised and simply accepted that it was time to dream of snow falling on snowmen and snow women and snowchildren.

I gave my late forecast, as I do every day, saying There is no prospect of a thaw for the moment. And, until the snow melts, it is important to keep warm and look after each other. I gave the helpline number and said goodnight.

Those who woke up during the night all looked outside to see if the snow was still there. It was. Then they couldn’t get back to sleep. Some sat looking at their screens and watched snowy pictures relayed by special cameras. Others made themselves a warm drink, and then sipped it gazing out at the strange white snowland they now lived in.

Nobody spoke. Nobody said a word. We were now in a land under the spell of a snow magician who didn’t care if it was supposed to be summer.

Then, suddenly, a familiar voice said : Bill, you’re on the air in five minutes.

Do you know what? I’d fallen asleep in front of the air conditioner.

I looked at my script for the real weather forecast. Not a snowflake in sight. In fact, it was hottest summer on record and there was an extreme weather alert.

Daytime and night-time temperatures were tropical, with hardly any rain except for the torrents which came down with thunderstorms. The dry spell had turned into drought and wildfires were breaking out all over the place. 

There was no prospect of cooling for the moment and it was important to stay inside and, even if people didn’t go out, it was important to drink plenty of fluids. I gave the helpline number and said goodnight.

The real forecast looked stranger than the one in my dream. And it’s not over yet. Therés no point in rubbing our eyes in disbelief at yet another heatwave, because it isn’t going to go away. In fact, it’s just beginning to make itself feel at home.

People used to love heatwaves in the summer, but the temperatures were bearable then. Not anymore. Something has gone terribly wrong.

Be careful of the weather you wish for.